Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Joys of Creative Writing

Please read for laughs:

My Pals are Here! Grammar Workbook 1 may be based on the latest syllabus from the Ministry of Education (MOE), but that alone cannot make it worth your money. Aptly designed as a complement to the similarly lacklustre My Pals are Here! Grammar Handbook: Primary 1 and 2, this workbook will bore you and your children, and instill a lifelong aversion to good English grammar.

For clear and easy reference, the contents of this book are structured after the Grammar Handbook, with useful links that direct pupils and parents to detailed explanations and examples of grammar items. Alas, both the Grammar Handbook and Grammar Workbook 1 contain a wide range of errors of both grammar and taste that sadly can only be corrected by fire.

Though some of these grammar practices actually require skill, others are simple enough to be tackled by any multiple-cell organism. Recommended only for use in incinerators and for export to economic rivals.

About the Author

In spite of her wealth of experience in education and publishing, Ng Theresa remains ignorant of the proper use of main verbs and their auxiliaries. She is also unaware, despite holding an M.A. in Applied Linguistics from the *ational *niversity of *ingapore, that “up” and “down” are not in fact prepositions, and has no idea what adverbs of time and frequency constitute. However, she has been a primary school teacher, as well as a special education teacher in Singapore. Ever keen on improving the quality of teaching for children, she has also developed a series of reading diagnostics tests for students in Singapore, in collaboration with the *ational *nstitute of *ducation, which perhaps explains the dearth of simple good English at this institute, which annually (this is an adverb of time and frequency) employs grammatically and linguistically challenged people to teach our children.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Halloween Origami

Excess time at work allows for loads of creativity. Take a look:


Pumpkin & Ghost



Green-Eyed Ghost



Red-Eyed Ghost




Rainbow Mandala/Afro Ghost

There you have it...SOME of the upcoming Halloween Projects that we've done! =)

PS: Magnets sold separately. =P

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Snazzy Features for Assessment Books...and how to write them instantly!

So we were thinking about what to write on the cover of the heinous assessment book which we had 'written' supposedly to educate/improve the grammar standards of whichever unsuspecting person who actually picks up a copy of the blasted thing.

Trust me...It was NOT an easy task. I don't know about you people out there, but it is not exactly heartening to have to LIE about the contents of a book, that we (meaning people who have worked on the book) ALL know is a load of shit. Parents are going to read the cover and buy it based on the outrageous claims that we were about to create. (I just hope parents have the brains to read the content before buying the book)

Anyway, so we were trying so hard, that we decided to write what we truly knew about the book in 3 snazzy lines. And here's what J came up with:

1. Mind-numbing and repetitive.
2. Too easy for smart kids.
3. Sometimes, just plain WRONG!

(by this point, we were laughing our heads off already...)

Then it hit us! The trick to writing the three pseudo-marketing lines was simply to FLIP the truth on its head! Here's the end result:

1. Stimulating variety of exercises develop essential skills
2. Challenging questions increase aptitude.
3. Ideal grammar companion for Primary One pupils

Not bad right?
I also say. =)